Bed of roses
|1:03 PM|
It's damn true that I'll cease to blog once I start going back to work. See? One whole week of not-blogging. Too busy working, shopping after work, and sleeping-over. Lalala. There's too much to write honestly. Hmmmm.
Well, this week the McDonald's training officially started and the mystery is finally unravelled - we are doing the McDonald's Loyalty Rewards programme. Meaning to say that, if anybody has problems getting their points or has enquiries on how the system works, how to SMS in their points, etc, they can call and we are supposed to entertain them!
So, all of you out there reading this, sign up as a member if you haven't already done so, now! And you can call 1800-491-9810 if you encounter any problems. Remember to ask for Joyce! Well, actually, maybe you should forget that last sentence. DON'T ASK FOR JOYCE! Haha.
So anyway, our trainer was this Mr. Thomas from Australia. A really handsome guy with blue eyes and white little beard, which was so cute! Hahaha. And he's a gentleman. But I kind of feel that he doesn't like me and YH 'cos we kept talking. Point is, he stares at us when we're discussing, but ignores us when we're playing. What kind of logic is that? Hmmmm.
I'm so lazy to write now. Shall end here..
Bed of roses
|12:31 PM|
Sunday, January 23, 2005
Too much has been going on lately that I don't really know how to go through everything. I visited him yesterday, which is supposed to be a happy thing, but I didn't feel too great after that, primarily because of some reason which I cannot tell anybody about. Perhaps I'm just sensitive, or suspicious, or untrusting, or doubtful. I don't know. Or maybe it's just the fact that I know I'm not perfect.
Anyway, I did tell Hoon about it 'cos I couldn't take it anymore and she kept asking why I feel so down concernedly. And it was like something taken off my chest. The knot is still there, it's been there all the while. But at least I don't have to hide it to myself anymore.
So to start, I met YH n Hoon at about 2pm at Bugis to go shopping. In case you're wondering, at this stage of my chicken pox, I am actually not contagious anymore. Don't believe me? Check this out.
Patients are contagious from 2 days before onset of the rash until all lesions have crusted.
All I have now are scabs. So, I am not contagious! Yay! Don't ask me why his cousins (and even Hoon's mother) thought overwise. As she said, it was probably some kind of misconception. Which caused me to be unable to go near him the day before. >.<
But still, everyone shunned me like I'm some kind of contagious disease when they saw my face. >.< There are still some scabs there, and I got all self-conscious and everything.. Sighs.
YH bought 2 t-shirts, Hoon bought a purse, and I bought a purse (or whatever you call that). And it was fun hanging out with them, as usual. We gossiped, chatted, laughed and everything. And they were telling me - teasing me actually - that Min (a colleague from work) kept on telling others - everyone, as they said - that he feels my voice is very sexy. Lol! God, I miss working days. After shopping, we went to the hospital. By then my shoulders were already drooping (now that's exaggerating but still) because I had 2 of his textbooks with me which were really heavy.
I was quite confused as to whether to go visit him at all or not, because of a lot of reasons. I shall state them here.
1. The misconception which most of his cousins (and he himself) has. What if I went and they wouldn't let me in again? Or they got pissed off since they already warned me or something..
2. My face looks hideous.
3. I already went the day before,
a. so I want him to miss me.
b. and what if I disturb him?
4. What if I see his mum, with my face all hideous and everything?
5. And somehow, I just can't bring myself to see him.. For God knows why.
But I did go in the end, and noone stopped me from going near his bed simply because they're all at his bedside already. And I saw his mum!!! OMG. She wasn't scary or anything of course, in fact she seemed really nice. But I mean, not seeing her for so long and suddenly, seeing her under such a circumstance. That's kinda scary isn't it?
After giving him his textbooks, I hanged around for a while, not knowing what to do. There were at least 10 of his relatives who were there (and trust me, the total who turned up was definitely more than 20) that I felt so quiet and withdrawn, not knowing what to do. Then his sister's boyfriend encouraged me to ask Hoon and YH to come in, which I did promptly.
Everything was quite alright and all of his relatives disappeared at some point of time to, I think, let us have some quiet time together. Lol. Luckily Hoon and YH didn't leave me at that time, and we all chatted. And I can tell you, there was this once when he was gazing at me so sweetly I thought he wasn't going to look away anymore.
After a while some of his relatives came back and some new relatives of his appeared. They were all really sweet and united and I felt very envious. Then, I really felt as if I were some part of their big 'family'. But that is kind of silly. I mean, it's just different. This is what I told him too. They'll never really be my cousins, or relatives, no matter how close we are..
You know, I've always had this secret hope of being really close with my relatives and all. Whenever I hear others telling me that they have a close relationship with their cousins, aunties and uncles, I always discreetly wished that it would be the same for me. But it's somehow impossible, I know. What with the complicated background of my family and all. So when I started going out with WZ and he told me all about him being close to his relatives and all, I was like, 'That's so cool!' And trust me, it really is. And honestly, this is part of the reason why I like and admire him so much.
One of his cousins who was around when I visited earlier (the day before yesterday) came too, and she was like, 'What? You still came?' and all I could do was smile. I announced my departure soon after that, and this time, everyone - including YH and Hoon - left us alone.
Alright, I'm gonna keep this part a little secretive but basically what happened was we chatted a little and then - you know - then I left.
Then I started feeling a little depressed - maybe not just a little, I dunno - because of that something I mentioned earlier. But I guess I'm fine. Just that this issue - this doubt - will forever be unsolved in a sense. Probably time is the only thing that can heal it.
The 3 of us went back to Bugis 'cos Hoon wanted to exchange the purse which she bought for a wallet and YH was gonna wait for Yusi who's working in Kinokuniya over there. Then we took 80 together and I told Hoon all about it.
I'm so happy!! He just called and said he can be discharged probably today as long as his platelet count shows a sign of natural rising. Haha! And he asked me to visit him later today. I'm so glad. Finally!! =D
Bed of roses
|1:12 PM|
Friday, January 21, 2005
I'm so glad right now! Sooooooo glad! Guess what? I visited dear. I actually saw dear!! Yay! =D Oops. I know I haven't exactly totally recovered, and that this is actually the most infectious period of my entire chicken pox illness, but...
... I really missed him like crazy! And anyway, everyone's bound to get chicken pox at some point of their life, right? So.. Why not now? Okay, it's true that Chinese New Year is coming, but...
Fine. I confess. I'm guilty. My sense of social responsibilty was thrown out the window. But it's just this once! =x
Hehe. Anyways, my parents and I got him this small vase of flowers - was it even a vase? It was really tiny - which cost $25, before we went up to the ward he is in. When one of his cousins who were waiting outside saw us, she was like, 'Eh? You're not supposed to be here..' And I was like, 'I know, but.. ... ...'
Then she adviced me to just wait outside and not go in, for fear that I might spread my virus to the other patients - who were all ill and weak - she explained. So I had no choice but to wait outside, feeling really lousy about myself. I can't hold his hand, I can't be by his side. And worse of all, I can't even see him.
However, soon after, she came out and asked me to go and stand by the door to see him because, 'if I don't go and see him, he is coming out to see me!' Haha!
So I was feeling really delighted and confused, but I went all the same, and when I saw him, all the relief I haven't felt for a long time poured over me, and I felt happier than I had been all these while. I couldn't go near him so I watched him by the door, and stuck out my tongue at him, to see him sticking his tongue out just so I could know that he saw me. It was just a short meeting, but I was really happy just being able to see him and knowing he's alright.
I left soon after, after making small chat with his cousins and their children. And I can tell you, I'm so glad and delighted that he actually was going to come out to see me - not that I wanted him to really do it, but it means that he really missed me, too - and I could really feel his love for me. Honestly, I have never, ever, felt this special when I was with anyone else. And I know that I did not make the wrong choice to go to see him (to hell with morals for now).
I was on my way back when I received this SMS from his cousin which is really sweet. It read, '你的出现，带来了阳光，文拯马上有了笑容。' Basically it means, 'Your presence brought sunshine to WZ who had smiles on his face immediately after.'
Hehe. I love him.
One last thing - I did not meet his mother who would be visiting him later today. Which honestly I feel quite relieved about. Hello? You don't expect me to meet her with chicken pox all over my face, right? =D Thank God. I'll see her during Chinese New Year anyway.. Better then than now. =)
Bed of roses
|3:27 PM|
Thursday, January 20, 2005
Everytime I hear the phone ring, I wish it is him. But it never was. But I finally got to know what is wrong with dear. His platelets are falling because he was bitten by an Aedes mosquito and is being hospitalized so his condition can be monitored. And he is still having his fever.
I got to talk to him once ytd, and he fell asleep soon after that. I was so happy when I heard his voice that I actually cried. Silly me. But honestly, I haven't been apart from him for so long before since we were together. I saw him nearly everyday and when I didn't, he would always call once or twice to ask how I am. So you can imagine how serious this matter seems to me this time round. But anyways, he kept assuring me that he's fine and asked me not to worry since he's in hospital. Fair enough.
So many of his cousins went to visit him that I feel so lousy about myself. They even stayed by his bedside for a very long time, long into the night. And now even my parents are gonna visit him. Everyone but me. I am seriously just not cut out to be a girlfriend. =(
What further proves this point is that I went to Tan's present girlfriend's friendster page to see this testimonial from his sister to her, saying how nice it would be if she becomes her sister-in-law. Noone's ever said that to me before. Neither did anyone say that I'm easy to get along with. Not that I'm comparing or anything, but honestly. I was never cut out to be a girlfriend, was I? I suck at social relationships all along. And all my BGRs never lasted above a year. I am a failure. In fact, I can't imagine that anyone will actually love me for who I am. Because I am really lousy, am I not?
Anyway. Hoon told me that we'll actually be working in the call centre for MacDonald's after the Tsunami hotline ends! Lol. And we were there, joking, saying that are we supposed to call people to promote burgers or something? And we were hoping the training course would provide free McDonald meals! Whahaha. How nice. But honestly, this job is getting better. Sounds interesting enough.
I came across this blog when going to Xiaxue's. Hold your breath, it's Fiona Xie's blog. I know, it's not that fascinating or whatever. But honestly, how often can you find artistes' blogs? So there. Anyway Xiaxue's criticsms are true and somewhat fair, but that's not to say I totally agree with her. After all, everyone can say whatever they like in the cyberworld. What matters is how the viewers and readers take the comments. We do not have to believe in everything that is shoved in front of us, right?
So even if Fiona's really a hypocrite, it's her choice to be. It's what she has to be responsible for. After all, how many people are not fake at all? Hardly any that I know. Point is, it all boils down to what readers choose to believe. If they believe her, that is their choice, and it's not really her fault. She can act, she can fake. Whatever. She does have her freedom in that. It's only fair.
Jia Wang misspelled my blog address yesterday and he ended up in another blog. How cool is that? Lol. Anyway I went there personally and it's quite an interesting page. The author is really passionate about coffee, I think. Which is so sweet. ;)
I would also like to share this site with all of you. It lets you check how popular your name has been over the past 10 decades. It also shows what each name means after you type it in, and I realised Joyce means merry. Sweet.
Btw, does anybody know where i can send free e-cards? I used to go to Bluemountain, but it's not free anymore.. =( I suddenly feel like sending e-cards for Valentine's (I know it's a tad early..), so please share with me if you know where to get free, sweet e-cards! Thanx!
In an effort to find out what is happening to dear, I went researching and found this site on mosquitos. They have a lot of information on them, which I feel everyone should go and read since the threat of mosquitos is increasing. This is another very good source as it tells you a lot about dengue fever. The risk of catching it is increasing recently and everyone, please, take care and be careful!
Ok. Now Gust's been telling me that my blog is feelingless. As in the way I phrase my words and everything. But who cares? I doubt many will come anyway, so this blog is more for those close to me. And myself, of course. Lol. If anyone else seriously has a problem with how I write, please tell me. Then I'll really consider adding more descriptive and colourful expressions. For now, I think this'll do. Cheers.
Bed of roses
|2:04 PM|
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
OMG. I woke up at 4+am to check my phone, only to realise that I received 2 msgs from his cousin to tell me that he's suspected to be down with dengue fever and is in the hospital. I felt so worried, stupid, confused, and didn't know what to reply her. Dengue fever?! This is like a nightmare. Dear is down with dengue fever? I didn't know what to think and I felt so sick. To think he's with dengue and I didn't even notice it. How careless am I? And now that I think about it, he did complain of some mosquito bites a few days before his fever started.. I am such a stupid, uncaring girlfriend.
I think I only fell back asleep at 5+am and when I woke at 11am, I received a call from that same cousin that they'll be visiting him later on and that she'll be calling back to tell me more about his condition.
My dear's ill and I can't even visit him. How sad is that? I feel like a total moron. I can't be there for him, now that he needs me. And you're not supposed to be using handphones if you're in your ward, right? Which makes it totally impossible for me to contact him at all. This is sick.
I went through all my past open diary entries 'cos I got the link from Gerald. He still has it (thank God) though I already lost it. I put up a link at the left-hand side so you can go read it if you will. There are 56 entries altogether. That's quite a lot, isn't it? And I didn't even realise that. Honestly only 3 people ever went there - Jia Wang, Gerald and my sister. Some of the entries are quite stupid, but whatever. I've decided not to be so secretive after all and just let everyone visit it. Just a word of warning, there are quite a lot of midis there, nearly one on every page, just that some are not working. If they freeze up your computer, don't blame me. You have been warned. =D
Bed of roses
|1:37 PM|
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
OMG! I can't believe this. I can't download music on mIRC anymore. I can't believe this. And I just got to know about it. Just. How outdated am I?! But that's not the point. I can't download music anymore. NOT ANYMORE. How sad is that? I'm so depressed.
Can you believe this? I can't. I know there'd been rumours everywhere that this will happen someday. But I haven't been downloading for sooo long. And when I'm about to just download 1 or 2 old songs - God knows if I can find them anyway, I don't even know their titles - this has to happen. I'm so depressed. Really I am. And when exactly did this happen? I do not know. Which is part of the problem. What a failure I am.
Now I don't even know where to get my songs. Old songs, especially. I mean, I'm not that interested in downloading new songs. I can always get my sister to buy those. But, old songs! They're going to be gone, aren't they? Such nice, meaningful songs. They're going to be forgotten. Gone eventually. Just because of stupid regulations. =x
This is so unfair.
Anyway, besides that issue, I have nothing else to worry about. I am back to playing Neopets. It's kinda fun actually. They have so many games to choose from that I practically spent the whole day on it. If you have a Neopets account, add me ok? My username is jingleszz (what else?).
I came across this website, Cursorzone, btw, and i was so exhilarated. Guess what? They have these Looney Tunes mouse cursors, free of charge, and I downloaded the Daffy Duck's! It's so cute! You should really go visit it, it contains many other Looney Tunes character cursors! =D
I kinda miss him.
Bed of roses
|7:52 PM|